Travelling with an autistic child or partner: A Practical guide

If you would like to understand how to support your autistic child or partner when travelling there are some things that you need to know about the autistic experience of travelling and some of the barriers to self-regulation.

Why travel can be hard for an autistic person

Travel is likely to be an unsettling time, with many new and un-predicitable elements, lots of change in usual routine and structure, more un-controlable noises, sounds and smells, different food and the social demands and pressure that is felt in going away on holiday.

For many autistic people the combination of this creates a lot of anxiety and worry in the run up to a holiday, and overwhelm and overload.

You experience the world in your own unique way, and that too is true of all autistic people, however, sensory processing differences can make what appear to be subtle changes to you feel huge and unbearable. The sudden introduction of masses of people all moving, talking, in close proximity, is an overload on the sensory input and this results in those messages not being processed as safe and manageable in the brain.

Understanding the expectations, instructions, things that are implied or seemingly obvious to others such as where to stand, what to say, what to do, can all add to the anxiety.

The un-predictability of the airport, the journey, the accommodation, the environment having to process information quickly, plan and make decisions. Not knowing what will happen next and needing that predicitability and familiarity in order to stay regulated and feel safe.

Not knowing how to prepare and pack, what is needed and what isn't, what the temperature will be and how you will feel.

I have lived experience both as a neurodivergent person and in a neurodivergent family. I understand the issues that can arise, and challenges that come with going on a trip. For me the airport is a jungle, filled with wild beasts just waiting to pounce and harm me. My nervous system is on high alert and I become distant, distracted, snappy, irritable, hot and quite frankly I just want to go home where it is safe.

I love going on holiday, I get excited, and I also dread it and wish we never booked it. As soon as I arrive I want to go home, I feel guilty and stupid for being on a such a lovely holiday and really wanting this, but not being able to 'properly enjoy myself'

I have had to learn a lot about myself and being neurodivergent and managing my own expectations both of myself and our family.

Practical things you can do before you travel

• Spend time looking at google maps, photos, videos, layouts of the airport, plane, ferry and hotel.

• Create a rough plan for the trip with timings and known events.

• When travelling take plenty of snacks and drinks, this avoids hunger overwhelm and dealing with finding somewhere and something that you can eat when hungry. If possible plan ahead and research restaurants and places to eat on the journey.

• Take familiar foods that may not be available if going abroad, again this ensures that there is always something to eat, and can be a good backup if needed.

• Look at what might be different and discuss ahead of time what that might be like, manage expectations and think about what might be helpful to manage this.

• Take items that usually help with regulation, for example, fidget toys, colouring, chewy toys, eye masks, lights, ear defenders.

• Take devices! In an ideal world holiday would be a screen free zone, but do not underestimate the need for screen time to regulate and decompress after travelling, or as a necessary distraction when things are out of routine and in situations that can cause anxiety.

• Try and keep some routine if possible, it might just be that you do the same bedtime routine.

• Manage your own expectations! Holidays cost a lot of money and are often the only time we get real time off from the usual demands of life. However, everyone going on the holiday will be the same when you are away and have the same needs. It is much better if you accept this ahead of time and work with it rather than try and create a situation that is not realistic or supportive and creates more stress and anxiety for everyone.

• Do it your own way. Don't worry about what you think you are supposed to do and try not to compare your holiday with other peoples, this has to work for you and your family.

If you feel anxious and stressed about going away it can be useful to talk it through with someone and get some support. I specialise in supporting parents and loved ones to reduce some of the stress for themselves and be calmer and more able to cope.